Stint On Reality and Getting Feedback so It Would Not Hurt

Stint On Reality

Let me take you behind the scenes of reality shows. No, I’m not reality TV star but there was a time when I did shoot a bunch of footage for a particular reality show pilot. I was conducting a day-long media training, with a very newly minted Miss Universe. Following her was an entire TV crew. Because they were shooting pilots and episodes for a reality show about being Miss Universe. So she comes in the producer says, “Hey TJ we have got to leave in a half an hour. We’re not going to be able to be here all day. But we need something for the show that talks about what happened after the training. So I need you to sit here with Miss Universe and have a debrief as if it’s after the training. You are talking about what was learned and the experience of the day only hasn’t happened yet”

You are surrounded by all these people and everyone’s nice and professional. They have all got a job to do. It’s human nature not to want to slow things down and to be a bother. So I did it now. I don’t think I did anything horribly immoral or tawdry. But I did kind of go along in this fake thing where I talked to her about. So here’s what we learned today and here’s that. It’s a little bit fake and phony.

Now the only reason I point this out to you is: you are in charge of you. You are in charge of your own messages, your own rent. Don’t let anyone talk you into saying things they’re going to come back to haunt you. You could be stopped on the street by a late-night comedy show. And they want you just to spout gibberish. Maybe no one ever cares but it could come back to tarnish your reputation or your image. So whether it’s a reality show producer or mad woman on the street interviewing you. Remember no one can force you to sing anything you don’t want to say. No one can force you to be inauthentic. That’s going to come from you.

Okay so why do I say that story. I tell that story for a couple of reasons. The main thing is I just want people to realize other people can be nice and try to shape you in a lot of different ways. You still have a hundred percent control over what comes out of your own mouth.  The other thing is just it kind of gives people a little bit of an interesting flavor of their trainer or their speaker today has kind of been involved with a lot of different interesting things at varying levels of show business and media just gives them a little better sense that I’ve seen a lot of different media from different perspectives and therefore that experience might be able to help them

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Getting Feedback so it Would Not Hurt

If you’re a beginner when it comes to your communication skills, the idea of asking people for feedback, it’s probably a little scary. I don’t want to hear people trashing me. Don’t think of it as a trashing. Think of that is than being your editor then being your coach then really helping you. You need to ask for feedback. That’s the only way you improve.

Many of the best speakers in the world started off with a baseline of skill lower than yours. Some of them were just awful but they got used to asking for feedback and making slight improvement. In just a moment Udemy is going to ask you for feedback on this course. If they haven’t already. They are going to ask you to rate it. If you think the course is great and fantastic by all means go ahead and rate it right now. But if you see specific things you would like to improve that you think it’s lacking. Send me a direct message and then ideally by the time you finish the course. I’ll already made the improvements because as much as I think I’m great and I have given successful speeches all over the world. I have done communication skills workshops all over the world. I have more than 100 communication skills courses here on Udemy. I’m still trying to get better. I’m still trying to improve and that is why I need feedback from you. So please send some feedback to me. If you’d think the course isn’t great and you can hold off your rating till the end you can always change the rating.

So a lot of people do ask for feedback and you see it at conferences rate speakers from one to ten or one to five or four stars or gold stars. Certainly some of that can be useful. But I want to give you advance tip. Even though your beginner because this will shorten your learning. Help you save time and get a lot better very quickly. The secret to getting feedback isn’t asking people to rate you on a one to five scale or 1 to 10 scale. It’s asking them what do they remember from your presentation. That’s infinitely more important so I’m going to practice what I preach. I’m going to do that to you right now. I’m going to ask you what do you take away from this presentation. So far what messages that are helpful to you. That you might actually want to try is sticking so far. So please post that in the discussion section right now. Give me your feedback so far even though it’s early in the course. Go ahead and rate the course if you think everything is great. And then any other feedback you can message me right here on Udemy. Please realize I read every single comment all feedback I look at and take very seriously.

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