Things not to do in Eulogy
Don’t drink: Do not drink alcohol before giving the Eulogy. People drink to drown their sorrows, and a person giving a eulogy might think it will give them courage and make them feel lighter. The fact is that drinking will not help at all. The problem with drinking before your speech is that it will slow down your memory, making it difficult to recall things. You will look scared and uncomfortable in front of the audience. You will draw sympathy to yourself rather than the person who passed. People will be thinking will he make it through this Eulogy or not and are focused on you. The listeners’ focus must be on the person that has passed, not on you. Alcohol makes many people sweat or feel red-faced, making them look uncomfortable. So, avoid alcohol before the Eulogy. You may think it will give you confidence, but it will not. Other tactics will boost your confidence, and you should work on them instead.
Don’t read: The second thing to avoid is reading out the whole speech because you want to get it right. This is not a speech that will be judged on getting it right or leaving any point will make a tremendous financial loss. As the person giving the Eulogy, it is not your job to give the entire chronology of the one who has passed without missing any minute detail. It is to spotlight the high and memorable heart-touching moments and events of the person’s life in the best possible way. If you are reading the speech, you will sound flat and monotonous without having expressions. This will not deliver the effect you want to create for the person who passed. It will seem more like a formality. Reading a eulogy destroys the personal element and prevents you from maintaining the eye contact that is vital to connect. You must be looking at various loved ones of the person while talking so that they know you are talking from the heart. Reading the Eulogy seems emotionless and like you didn’t even know the person.
Balance your Emotions during Eulogy
The balance of emotions is very crucial in a eulogy. It is a sad moment, and you don’t have to act sad as you will be naturally sad at that time. Even if there was a person who was 100 years old and had achieved all that they had dreamed of and died peacefully, you are still sad about losing them. Even if the death is not particularly tragic, it is a sad moment. Humor can be great at this moment if it is used appropriately and magnifies anything incredible about the person. But doing a stand-up comedy and laughing too much does not seem right on this occasion. Balancing emotions at this moment is like striking the right chord at the right level.
In some cases, people are so emotional and low when they give the Eulogy that they whine and people don’t understand what they are saying. If you are crying so much that people do not understand what you are saying, you are not honoring the person in any way. The only thing the people will get is that you are sad and you miss the person too much, but you will not be able to convey a message about the person. Consequently, the Eulogy is more focused on you and people start thinking about you rather than the person who passed. Your goal must be to direct the focus of the people, family members, and friends on the person who died, not on you. That is why it is critical to have a plan to get through the Eulogy without falling apart and breaking into pieces. Even if you love the person more than anyone in your whole life, you want to honor this person by talking about the person in the best way. It may seem a bit bitter, but the fact is that you have plenty of time to cry later but not when you are delivering the Eulogy.
Practice on video
Practicing on video is a practical tip to refrain from crying in the Eulogy. If you practice the Eulogy many times on video, you will become familiar with it. You will not be saying it for the first time, and it will not be opening new moons for you at that moment. If you have an outline of the speech and you are saying the Eulogy following that outline in front of the people for the first time, the emotions may hit you so intensely that you end up breaking. That’s why it is crucial to rehearse in advance. In this way, you can be sad while talking about the person in a way that people understand what you are saying. If you are crying and whining, you are not achieving anything in the Eulogy.
The rehearsal may seem inappropriate as you may think it is not a corporate speech where you are trying to nail it. It seems artificial but focuses on the objective of the Eulogy. You are trying to highlight the good aspects of the person who passed. You would never publish an article about someone who passed in a newspaper filled with spelling, grammar and formatting mistakes or sentences that don’t make sense. You will undoubtedly refine the article to honor the person before publishing it.
Similarly, you must refine your eulogy speech as much as you can. Take the sheet of paper with the outline written on it and deliver the full Eulogy while recording it on your mobile or any device available. Then watch it not because you are worried about how you look but to analyze your speech. Did you focus the audience on the person that passed? Maybe you are talking with such a low volume and energy that people can’t hear you. In this case, you are not honoring anyone in this way. And are you delivering your message appropriately, focusing on the person who passed? You may be moving too much while talking, which will make people focus on you, but you can’t notice it until you watch your recording. Do not practice in front of a mirror as you cannot watch the recording, and you will only get stuck in your looks.
Collect valuable memories
When you are putting together your Eulogy and looking for stories, you can talk with other people near and dear to the person. They may have incredible things to share that you can add to your Eulogy and highlight the person’s qualities in a much better way. The family members and friends will have many good stories to share with you if you let them. If you choose to do this, add their reference in the Eulogy to make it more exciting and authentic.
Following the right plan while delivering the Eulogy will help you do it right without falling apart. Strike the right emotional cord at the time. Do not drink before the Eulogy and do not read the entire message word-for-word. Rehearse with video to keep yourself composed while delivering the Eulogy in the best way. Talk with other family members and friends about their memories of the person to add beautiful stories to your Eulogy. Make an excellent send-off to the person you love by making the best Eulogy.