"YOU’RE HIRED!"
THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF JOB SEARCH
by Michael Goldberg

May / June 2005 Issue 6

FUNNY YOU ASK

"I'm Alive"

A friend and colleague of mine (without realizing it mind you) often reminds me how good it is to be alive. Every time I ask him how he’s doing, his response is always, “I’m alive.” He means it sarcastically but it still serves as a friendly reminder to count my blessings. I’m the first to admit that I take all the good things in my life for granted.

It wasn’t all that long ago – OK it was a lifetime ago - that I was staring down the barrel of a 45 caliber 13 clip pistol on a Sunday night in Brooklyn, New York. I was the night manager in a very busy chain restaurant located in a tough part of town. The area was so tough that there was an armed guard on duty for every shift. It didn’t matter on this night as 3 patrons ate their meal, paid for it, and attacked the security guard, knocking him unconscious. I was told to open the safe. Upon explaining that it’s a drop safe, I missed the combination. As the nice man with the 45 cocked the gun in my ear, he reminded me that I didn’t have a second chance. I thought either way, the safe would be the last thing I would ever see. I winced as I heard the cylinders of the safe connect. Thankfully, I wasn’t shot. But I watched the rest of the action while lying belly down on the floor with the rest of the staff and patrons. Since it was a drop safe, the bad guys didn’t get away with much. The security guard survived with minor injuries. The gunmen were caught 2 months later in a car chase in Florida but not until they killed a kid while holding up a McDonald’s just two days after they robbed me. How lucky was I? There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of the robbery and all that went through my head. I guess I’m glad it wasn’t a bullet. Here are some lessons learned.

Lesson one; consider how lucky we are when we get a second chance. It doesn’t happen every day.

Lesson two; no matter how cool it looks on TV; you are short of the wise cracks when a gun is in your face. Although I was praised for my bravery and cool headedness, inside I was terrified.

Lesson three; no amount of money is worth dying for - especially if it belongs to someone else. Enjoy how you make and spend your money. Health will always outweigh wealth.

Lesson four; live every day as if it’s your last. Life is too damned short, unpredictable, and sometimes unfair. Right your wrongs, do what you love, and love what you do.

By the way, you don’t need to live through a robbery, car accident, sickness, or any other horrific experience to get a second chance. We get one every day when we wake up and say, “I’m alive.” Consider this your second chance!

If you have any ideas or suggestions,
drop us a line at info@building-blocks.net.

Shut up and listen !
By Michael Goldberg

Pretty harsh, huh? Often, that’s all it takes to listen a little closer and learn a lot more. Here’s a question for you: How many networking connections, sales calls, business decisions, or customer service opportunities have you botched simply because you didn’t listen carefully enough to the contact, prospect, boss, or customer? Answer: Too many! If you just stopped speaking long enough to listen to the needs of those contacts, prospects, co-workers, and customers, things may have turned out differently. And yes, it’s the same story with family members and other personal relationships.

We spend more time communicating (or trying to communicate) with one another than we do in engaging in any other activity. Imagine that! Yet we’re horrible at it.

Communicating is the exchange of information with the purpose of increased understanding. If there is no understanding, there is no communication. That said, over 75% of our communication efforts are ignored, misunderstood, or completely forgotten. Consider how smart we’d be if we had retained even some of that information. The reason for all of this you ask? We don’t work hard enough insuring what we say is engaging, clear, and understood. Also, we don’t put enough effort into understanding and clarifying what’s being said. Am I being clear?

Hearing versus listening
For one thing, hearing and listening are two different concepts. When you hear someone or something, it is all about the sound that is being made. You can hear the sound of someone’s voice but not listen to a word. Ever try talking to someone when they’re glued to the TV screen? Listening is all about understanding a message. When speaking with someone, ensure you are being listened to rather than just being heard.

What prevents us from listening?
There are many barriers that prevent us from listening or listening well. Some of the more popular ones include outside distractions, lack of interest, dislike of the other person (this never happens), varying paradigms, different agendas, preconceived notions, stereotyping and prejudices, past history, misunderstandings, and conflict. All of this stuff gets very complex, emotional, and personal. It would be great if we could just recognize this dynamic within ourselves and let it go. Yes, just like that, let it go. Then, shut up and listen. The world would be a better place and many of the dynamics I’ve mentioned above would simply go away – or never exist in the first place. The reality - it’s just not that easy. But imagine if it were? All of these barriers just serve as a cloud cover that overshadows any message being delivered to us. Sometimes the message may even be important.

Roles of the listener
We play many roles when we are on the receiving end of someone’s message. We make a conscious and sometimes subconscious choice as to the roles we play. For example, we can choose to completely ignore a message – not a bad thing, in some cases a very good thing. It all depends on the message and its relevance to you. Ever pretend to listen to someone? You nod your head as if you are listening, but really you’re on a different planet – in essence, ignoring them. Hopefully, you don’t get asked to respond or offer feedback. You can be selective in your listening, choosing to focus on only parts of a message. You can listen comprehensively with the purpose of learning, appreciatively with the purpose of enjoying music or a speech, and critically in an effort to give feedback. Active listening is the most effective role we can ever play as a listener and requires the most work. The purpose of active listening is to absorb a message like a sponge in an effort to understand. Each of these roles has its place and it all depends on your intention and attention at any given moment.

Active listening
If your intention is to clearly understand a message as it was meant to be presented, active listening is the ticket. These four approaches can help you practice and improve your listening skills and help you to become a more active listener.

Restate what’s been said to you in your own words when appropriate. Reflect on the feeling and perspective of the person sharing the message. If you can relate to the message in any way, than say so. Summarize key points of the message at a sufficient break. Ask questions when needed for more information and clarity.

Like any skill that needs to be learned and developed, this requires buy in, repetition, and practice. So take every opportunity with family, friends, neighbors, colleagues, bosses, prospects, and clients to practice. So practice! You may find others catch on and become better at listening to your message. It happens!

The worst listeners are those that listen with their mouth. I can be a pretty good example of that. The best listeners are those that shut up and restate, reflect, summarize and ask about the prospect’s needs, the customer’s issues, and the boss’s expectations.

The benefits of becoming a better listener are huge – greater knowledge, decisions, sales, and relationships. Not to mention greater respect from others. And what can be better than that?

Next Issue: Are you fishing in the right ponds?

“…if you don’t paddle your own canoe, you don’t move.”
-Katherine Hepburn

Michael Goldberg is a speaker, trainer, and the President of Building Blocks Consulting. He helps organizations achieve measurable growth in sales, service, and leadership. Michael delivers seminars, runs sales meetings, and conducts training programs on networking, leadership, public speaking, customer service, and job search. He can be reached at 732-446-2233 or via e-mail at megoldberg@building-blocks.net.

Building Blocks to Success is a newsletter published by Building Blocks Consulting. Feel free to visit our website at www.building-blocks.net. If you do not wish to receive our newsletter, click here to unsubscribe.

Interview Tips When On Camera
By TJ Walker

Have you ever been interviewed on camera? If so or if you plan to be here are TV interview tips that can improve your presention next time your in front of the camera.

1. Lean forward 15 degrees toward camera.
2. Look at the interviewer (not the camera).
3. Move your head.
4. Move your hands.
5. Move your body.
6. Wear solids (but not black/white/red).
7. Speak louder than normal.
8. Speak with more energy than normal.
9. Focus on just 3 message points.
10. Be conversational (don’t memorize).

TJ Walker has helped thousands of clients speak and present better and for a limited time he is offering great incentives (software, videos, special reports, and more) for the purchase of his book on Amazon.com.

It's simple, order his newest book “Presentation Training A-Z” ($24.95) then forward your order confirmation email to book@mediatrainingworldwide.com. If you’re looking to improve your next speech or presentation there is no better place to start – and with a deal like this – no better time!

To learn more and see the list of bonuses visit: www.mediatrainingworldwide.com/gifts.html

How to Build on Your Achievements
By Susan Levinson

When was the last time you stopped to acknowledge your achievements? A minute ago? A day, a week, a year ago? If you are like most people, it’s been a looong time since you’ve acknowledged yourself. Before you read on, I’d like to tell you how to get the most out of this article. Take it as an interactive challenge.

Write down at least 20 of your achievements in the past month. They can be large or small, but I’m sure you have them. For instance:

• Got to my breakfast meeting 10 minutes early.
• Signed a new customer.
• Contacted the 5 people I met at the holiday party within 2 days.
• Told my spouse/child/parent/significant other that I love them.

Good work. How does it feel to list what you’ve accomplished? Are you smiling? This is called giving yourself positive feedback. Most people are very good at negative feedback, that little voice in our head works overtime saying things like, “why did I do that”, I should know better”…. What if that voice said, “great job”, good thinking”, “WOW!”? What effect would that have on you, your productivity, and even your happiness? Positive feedback helps you own your accomplishments, your gifts, and talents. Like sunshine, it helps you grow and flourish. Once you own your accomplishments you can build on them and leverage them. Use them like a springboard, to give you lift and momentum.

Now what about the compliments, thank you’s, or acknowledgements you’ve gotten in the past month? Write down at least 5 of them. The number is smaller because you probably had a hard time listening to them and taking them in. How often do you respond or think, “It’s nothing”? Do you know when you do that you’re basically telling people they are crazy to acknowledge you? Try this. Say “Thank you” and accept the acknowledgement. Doing that counts twice. You’ve gotten positive feedback and you’ve gracefully acknowledged that person. How many people are smiling now? OK, bonus assignments.

1. Expand your lists by constantly asking yourself, “what else can I acknowledge?”.
2. Record acknowledgements as you get them.
3. Acknowledge yourself daily and record these too.
4. Acknowledge and appreciate the people in your life.
5. Live long and prosper! (thanks Mr. Spock).

Susan Levinson is President of Leverage Your Power. She loves helping people own their power, leverage it and revel in the journey. She is also the USA Manager of Results Coaching Systems, an international coaching organization. She trained as a coach in 1998 in Sydney, Australia and in 2000 helped launch Results Coaching Systems in the USA. Susan has a BA in biology and an Master’s in Computer Science. For more information check out www.LeverageYourPower.com and www.ResultsCoaches.com She can be reached at SusanLevinson@LeverageYourPower.com.

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